Keeping Up With Who You Have Become

In every facet of our lives, we are evolving to a wiser, more skilled and knowledgeable self. Yet, most of us forget to upgrade that whiny 7-year-old insecure voice that resides in our thoughts to the capable, intelligent being we have become. Here's an example: one facet of me is an artist--and that part of me has been around for most of my life. Sometimes I paint and draw more regularly than other times, but every drawing, every design makes me a better artist. Yet, when I took a dozen or so pieces of artwork out from under the bed recently to put on an artists' site to sell, that insecure 7-year-old popped right up with "you think you're a real artist? how long has it been since you've painted? What makes you think you are still an artist? Who'd want to buy prints that are six years old? Why are you spending time on this?"

I see this happen often with my coaching clients. They are justifiably promoted, yet fearful that everyone will learn they are a fraud. Have they met the requirements to get the promotion? Certainly. Do they have the skills necessary to perform the work? Absolutely. The only problem is that they have not stopped along the way to acknowledge to themselves the person they have become after each accomplishment or challenge. Therefore, they feel like a fraud, because their self image does not match who they have become.

How to remedy this dual self? Easy. Take a few minutes each week to journal about what you have learned, accomplished and how you have grown. Week by week, you will keep up with the wise and capable person you are becoming.

Getting Things Done: What I Learned from David Allen

In a recent telephone interview David Allen, author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress- Free Productivity, shared his insights. Here are eight tips I came away with:

1. Only do one thing at a time and give it your full commitment and attention. Multi-tasking is a myth--we can only do well and give our attention to one thing at a time. That's why laws were passed to keep our attention on driving rather than operating a cell phone and navigating a car.
2. Know that the one thing you are doing is the thing you most need and want to do now.
3. Make time to step back and see the broader view from a reflective perspective. Allow time for creativity to flow. Think creatively. If you are always in response mode and don't have creative think time, new ideas have no place of entry and you stagnate.
4. Take the best of other people's ideas mixed with your own trial and error to develop your own system for managing projects and getting things done. Tweak until it works consistently, then let the system support you so that you trust your system and use it well. It becomes automatic. This may take two weeks to two years, depending on your level of commitment and use.
5. Ask, "What's not on cruise control?What's not clear?" Then get everything you can on cruise control (automatic) so that you clear the decks for renewal, relaxation and creativity. An easy way is to notice what has your attention.
6. Create a way for rapid refocus after interruptions. For example, jot a keyword down to remind you where you left off before answering the telephone.
7. Learn to understand when things are complete. For instance, he gave up a two-year hobby of growing bonsai when it became clear that the cost (in terms of distraction, time) became greater than the benefit. Learn to let go of what is no longer beneficial.
8. Don't get hooked into The Busy Trap: feeling the need to appear busy rather than working on what really matters (like wading through email instead of thinking through a possible solution while staring out the window). Don't worry about how things look. When you are handling what really matters, keeping your agreements, and consistently producing results people don't really care how you do it, except to share your secrets of success with them.

Hopefully, something in this list will help you get more of the important things done in your work and life. And when petting your cat, really be there and enjoy that moment.

What To Do When Stuck in Overwhelm

From time to time, people reach out for help when responsibilities in a given area have piled up to the point that they feel like they are drowning in them. My own personal demon in this area is paper clutter in my office. The tool that works best is the Start Small tool.

Here is how it works: Let's say your office is a disaster with stacks of files and papers and notes on every surface. Maybe there are a few books underneath, making those stacks even more precarious. In this situation, many of us might feel overwhelmed, agitated, embarrassed and disgusted that we allowed the office to get in this state. Here are the steps to get unstuck and create immediate relief:

1. Stop. Breathe. Focus on the solution, and let go of the blame. 
2. Decide how much time you can reasonably devote to cleanup right now. You'll be surprised at how much can be accomplished in a mere ten minutes, when that is all you are doing. Put your phone on voice mail. Close your office door, if you have one. 
   
3. Choose one area to work on, like your desk surface, for example. Focus there specifically for the allotted time. If your desk is piled so high that ten minutes (or whatever amount you are devoting) doesn't make much difference, choose a 2-foot area of your desk to break it down into a manageable section.
4. You'll be tempted to keep going, but unless you can afford to shift priorities for a longer period, simply schedule another session for the afternoon, or the next available slot in your calendar. Keep this commitment as sacred. One small section at a time, you will make visible progress. Keep at it. The relief will be palpable and free your mind for other pursuits.
5. Once you have the mess cleared away (or the hairy project complete), schedule regular maintenance time to keep it organized. Some find 15 minutes at the end of a day works. Others like to schedule an hour once a week. Find your best method and then make it a habit, putting it in your calendar until it becomes a routine part of your day that you don't have to think about. 
   

We all get stuck from time to time, and that's no big deal, as long as we find a way to get unstuck. By starting small, we get moving again and that makes further motion forward much easier.

Thriving in Any Economic Climate

After an eight-day vacation on the beach in Mexico, where I was blissfully unaware of the economic movements of our world, I came face to face with the Situation Room on CNN while working out at the local gym. Within moments, my freeflowing optimism and happy outlook began to be replaced by a feeling of foreboding; that is, until I noticed the knot in my gut and recognized that watching all those dire predictions that I have no personal control over wasn't doing anything good for me. I turned my attention elsewhere, and began to plan my day instead.

We are each responsible for maintaining our optimism no matter how loud the cries of desperation on our news stations, or how dire the headlines we glimpse. If we focus on those things we have the power to influence personally, like our own bodies, feeding our minds with uplifting material, creating the value we want to contribute in our professional lives and nurturing the relationships that are meaningful to us...well, there simply isn't time left over for hand wringing, and that's a good thing. We must remember that those news stories are designed to get attention and sell products. They are an extremely disproportionate representation of the good and not so great events that happen in a given day. 

In fact, if equal time were given to the good things that are happening around our planet, that would take up about 23 hours and 50 minutes of a typical news day (best guess). Really. If unemployment is at 6%, and they were giving a balanced view, they'd have to say that 94% of those who want to be employed are working today. That sounds different, doesn't it? Same information, different spin.

I saw recently where some of the most innovative and successful products of our time were launched in periods of economic recession (Entrepreneur, February 2009). Some of them were Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup in 1934, GE fluorescent light bulb in 1938, McDonald's Hamburgers in 1955, and Diet Coke in 1982. You can bet the creators of these products were too busy acting upon their vision to spend any time fretting over the recession. In every economic climate, there are those who thrive and those who panic. We have a choice about how we will respond to what's happening. We can give our undivided attention to the conversation, person or task at hand, or we can give over to worry and fear. I'm finding it much more exciting and satisfying to focus on those things I have the power to change. I hope you are, too.

Profound Self Acceptance

Sometimes we all get so caught up in pursuing our goals that we forget why we are in business in the first place. We forget that the heart of any meaningful contribution is about relationships, about adding and uplifting  the client or customer's experience in some way. And in order to be strong in building and honoring relationships, we must begin with the one we have with ourselves.

Ultimately, every relationship we have is a reflection of the one we have with ourselves. If we are feeling lack, then we try to compensate through others. Here is an example: a senior manager we'll call Lola told me this week that she finds it physically and emotionally painful to receive recognition because it always feels undeserved and makes her want to hide. Yet this manager railroads nearly every conversation to point out all that she is accomplishing so that she will be recognized. She takes on too many projects in an attempt to prove her value and ends up not delivering her best on any of them. Sound familiar? 

There are steps we can take to begin practicing self acceptance. Here are five:

• Recognize our innate value as a contributor to this life, simply by being here. We add to every interaction our energy and spirit. 
• Learn to look at strengths and express those more. Find ways to leverage the things you are naturally good at and enjoy.
• Be as kind to ourselves as we would be to a young protege about places where we are growing and not yet up to speed.
• Give ourselves credit for recognizing places to improve without using that to bludgeon ourselves.
• Stop telling the story of lack. For instance, instead of saying, "I'm a procrastinator," say "I have my own sense of timing, and when the energy is lined up, I take action."

Most of us were taught to love unconditionally, but few of us practice loving ourselves that way. And even fewer of us translate that into a best practice for business success. It works. Try it.

Leveraging Energy Through Goals

Anyone watching this summer's Olympic games can see the power of reaching big goals. We are practically unlimited in our ability to create and accomplish. One thing I've noticed in working with clients and in my own experience is that sometimes we use goals to keep ourselves on track, and sometimes we use them to beat up on ourselves. 

Take a look at the following two lists and see if you are primarily focused on the positive aspects of goal setting:

Positive Use of Goals

• Help us remember the course we have chosen
• Remind us what we will have achieved when the goal is complete
• Energize us with the mental picture of our realized objective
• Assist us in keeping track of baby steps along the way
• Show us how far we have come

Negative Use of Goals

• Make us feel bad for not measuring up
• Create self talk that is critical in nature "You are such a loser!"
• Drain our energy
• Reinforce our low self esteem
• Create feelings of disempowerment (i.e. I am not able to complete things)

Remember that goal setting is a tool to support you in living the life you want to live. What other people are doing and what they think about what you are doing is irrelevant. If you have a goal on your list that has been there for awhile, ask yourself if it is something that is important to you or a "should" that you really don't intend to follow up on. Remove those goals that have no or little meaning for you and only put down those that you have enthusiasm for.

Question: Is an athlete that landed in fourth place by 100th of a second any less accomplished than if they'd won a medal? 

The Warrior Leader

I was asked by a colleague to compare the skills of a warrior to that of an effective leader. This is what we observed:

(Male pronoun used for ease, but holds true for both genders)

• He carries the vision for peace and prosperity in his heart and shares it with his people
• He holds the courage to face anything, and the wisdom to avoid the need for war
• He honors the Great Spirit, connecting with It often, listening for wisdom
• He spends time in nature, reflecting on the big picture and the web of life that touches us all
• He fosters community among his people, building bonds, knowing them well, seeing and helping them grow their gifts
• He recognizes the power of diversity and encourages the sharing of ideas and growing leadership in others
• He is cunning about the dance with ego and doesn't let it pull him away from center; he doesn't take things personally
• He has a huge capacity for joy and compassion
• His weapons (tools) are in the finest condition and he uses them with great skill whether he needs them daily or not
• His focus and concentration are strong when he works, and when he is at rest, he rests fully
• He takes care of his body, knowing that it is his most important tool
• He honors the rituals that give him strength, power, humility and love
• He does the best he can each day and doesn't worry about yesterday or tomorrow
• He honors all creatures as his brothers/sisters and the Earth as Mother to us all

How many of these are you claiming and living for yourself?