Thursday, September 11, 2008

Profound Self Acceptance

Sometimes we all get so caught up in pursuing our goals that we forget why we are in business in the first place. We forget that the heart of any meaningful contribution is about relationships, about adding and uplifting  the client or customer's experience in some way. And in order to be strong in building and honoring relationships, we must begin with the one we have with ourselves.

Ultimately, every relationship we have is a reflection of the one we have with ourselves. If we are feeling lack, then we try to compensate through others. Here is an example: a senior manager we'll call Lola told me this week that she finds it physically and emotionally painful to receive recognition because it always feels undeserved and makes her want to hide. Yet this manager railroads nearly every conversation to point out all that she is accomplishing so that she will be recognized. She takes on too many projects in an attempt to prove her value and ends up not delivering her best on any of them. Sound familiar? 

There are steps we can take to begin practicing self acceptance. Here are five:
  • Recognize our innate value as a contributor to this life, simply by being here. We add to every interaction our energy and spirit. 
  • Learn to look at strengths and express those more. Find ways to leverage the things you are naturally good at and enjoy.
  • Be as kind to ourselves as we would be to a young protege about places where we are growing and not yet up to speed.
  • Give ourselves credit for recognizing places to improve without using that to bludgeon ourselves.
  • Stop telling the story of lack. For instance, instead of saying, "I'm a procrastinator," say "I have my own sense of timing, and when the energy is lined up, I take action."
Most of us were taught to love unconditionally, but few of us practice loving ourselves that way. And even fewer of us translate that into a best practice for business success. It works. Try it.