Get Unstuck: Declare Your Ambiguity

Whether you are starting a new project on your own or working in collaboration with a team, those murky areas where you aren't clear what the facts are, what you want, what's even possible can stop you and the group in your tracks and the whole project can come to a lock-kneed halt. To get unstuck from this, use a tool I borrowed from Mary Beth O'Neill at LIOS (Leadership Institute of Seattle):

Declare Your Ambiguity

There are 5 steps to this process:

1. Declare The Ambiguity. Own up to it. Sometimes everyone is thinking the same thing, but no one wants to say so, wondering silently whether their peers have as many unanswered questions as they do, but not wanting to look incompetent. As long as this murky feeling sits with you and/or the group undeclared, you aren't really dealing with it, but it is still there.
2. State What you Are Clear On. In any given project or scenario, there are pieces you have clarity about, and pieces that are somewhat foggy or less clear, or a total blank. Begin with what you are clear about. Maybe it is the outcome, or the start date, or the timeframe. Whatever you are clear on, state it as a place to begin. This is like putting down the puzzle pieces you definitely recognize and you can build on them.
3. State what is unclear, undefined, or murky. "This is where I feel I'm grasping in the dark," or "Here is where the lines begin to fade for me," are statements describing that feeling of not knowing where you stand. It might be different for you than a colleague, but by stating it you open a dialogue that can be clarifying.
4. State the information that would clarify. "If I knew what the budget was, I'd feel better about providing some solutions," or "Who, exactly, is our perfect customer for this service?" or "How long will we be in this temporary office?"
5. Ask for what you need. Be specific: "Ray, can you let me know by tomorrow when the vendor is available and what he will charge for this part of the project?" 

Once these steps have been taken, more pieces of the puzzle come into focus and you can move forward. When working solo, you may want to have a thought partner to talk through your ambiguity with, such as a coach or friend. If you are one who journals, you might work it out on the page in a mind map format. Repeat as often as required. Keep moving toward the things that light you up.

Design The Environment to Support You in Your Game

Think of an environment that completely supports the achievement of your goals, like say, a gym. Most of us join a gym to firm up or lose weight, and have access to equipment or classes. From the moment you enter that environment, everything is designed to support you in those goals.

We walk in and are greeted by healthy, fit and friendly front desk folks. Upbeat music plays in the background. On the way to the weight machines, we notice through the glass window a spin class furiously burning calories. In the next window, we see Pilates equipment being put to good use. We are inspired by flat abs and chiseled biceps to get going so that we, too, might look so good.

This environment carries us along to our fitness goals, and within a few weeks of joining, sure enough, we are stronger, slimmer, and pleased about our progress.

Winning any game is easier when the environment supports us. If there are goals and initiatives that you have been striving toward for some time, take a look at the environment you have designed for yourself (even if you put no thought into it, it's still your design) and see whether that environment might be tweaked to make it easier to win the game you are up to.

Here are a couple of examples: You want to get a book written (or an article published) but never seem to get around to writing. Research shows that by pre-planning where and when you will do the writing, you are more likely to follow through and create a habit of writing at that time. Perhaps you get distracted by the ringing phone or the ding of your computer as new email arrives. By designing the environment to support distraction-free writing time, you are ahead of the game. Turn off the ringer on your phone, and silence the email notification on your computer. Whatever helps you get in the writing zone becomes part of the solution to playing the writing game well.

Let's say you want to get better at public presentations. There are a lot of ways to approach the realization of this goal. Here are some questions to help you identify an environment that will pull you along:

• ask "Who do I need to become in order to accomplish this?" Maybe you need to become a person who prioritizes and plans better, or a person who calls upon their courage to try new things
• ask "What will support me best in learning this skill?" Do you want a mentor? A class? To join an organization like Toastmasters?
• ask "How do I want to build this into my weekly routine?" How much time are you willing to spend, and when and where?
• ask "How will I know I have achieved my goal?" Will you measure success in terms of your comfort in presentations? By feedback from those on the receiving end? By how much you enjoy making presentations? What are the qualifiers that let you know you have succeeded?

It's easier to win any game when the environment supports us. Rather than beating ourselves up or feeling chided when we aren't getting the results we want, let us look at how we can tweak the environment to make it easier to win.

Playing to Win

For the last four weeks, I've been immersed in a course that is all about having the games we play in life be winnable. There have been a number of shifts in perspective throughout this process--and the first one is the idea that we can turn any aspect of our lives into a game that's fun to play and winnable. After all, each of gets to be the architect of our own life. We may as well design it to bring the outcomes we want.

What constitutes a "winnable game?" Here are a few ideas:

• A winnable game challenges me to bring my best strengths and skills into play and stretch a little. Maybe even a lot.
• A winnable game has clearly defined objectives and a way to keep score. Although it's challenging, I have skills that I can use to play a good game.
• A winnable game has a beginning and end, which gives me excitement during play and a chance to rest and look at how I can improve between games. Too many of us set up unwinnable games that drag on for years.
• A winnable game involves other players with great skill and love for the game who are fun to play with and inspire me.

There are forty coaches playing the game in this 6-week course. Today, I'm at the top of the scoreboard, but that changes hourly as people update their online scorecards. We are having fun, accomplishing big things, little things and learning a ton about ourselves, each other and human nature.

Stay tuned for more on how to lose the task list and turn your actions into a game worth playing.