Learn to Discern

You know that feeling you get after overindulging, kind of like after Thanksgiving dinner? My brain starts to feel bloated in that same way. Sometimes we overload our thought system with too much data, and it makes us feel sluggish. Information is so readily available at our fingertips now, that we must develop a new skill: discernment. Here are 3 questions to ask to help keep your focus on what's most important:

1. What are my top 3 priorities this week? Today?
2. How much time is required (ball park) to give them my best?
3. How can my professional reading time be best used today, and how much time, exactly, am I giving to that?

Once those priorities are identified, be true to them. Decide in advance how much time you will devote to answering emails or on returning calls. Idle curiosity can lead us to a news site that becomes like a rabbit hole that we don't emerge from for two hours. That leaves no time for our best creative expression or the realization of our dearest goals. No one else is going to stand over us and encourage our most inspiring contribution. That is up to each of us. Discernment is a skill worth cultivating.

Authenticity

Ever notice how easily we compare ourselves to others and feel like we come up short? I noticed over the weekend how many fashion mags show perfect young women with no laugh lines or visible flaws. Then saw how many wrote in to a magazine that published a photo of a model comfortably baring it all even though she had a bit of a tummy pooch. Readers wrote in that finally, they were seeing a woman who looked like them. Can't we all relate to that?

I caught myself this morning feeling a bit critical of my own work process, until I stopped and realized that it is my natural process which works well for me and so what if it doesn't follow a 9-to-5, Monday through Friday format? As a writer, I gather for a period of time and then when it feels just right, I synthesize what I've gathered, re-package the information into an article, book, workshop and distribute. It isn't always linear. I enjoy the organic nature of my work. I love having clients come for coaching at just the right moment in their lives to make the greatest impact. My process may not look pretty on a chart, but it feels just right and feeds my authentic self and my soul. Who can ask for more than that? What a relief it is to say, "My way is a little different than most, and it works for me."

Listen--Can You Hear It?

How often does the quiet, confident voice of intuition speak, and we aren't listening? Often. The world can be noisy and we fill it with busyness. When we do have drive time or time to simply be, we often fill it with music or television. Nothing wrong with that. However, I challenge us all to an experiment. Today, or tomorrow morning, present a question you would like clarity on, and ask your intuition to provide the answer. Then give it some room to be heard. Take ten minutes of your commute to be quiet and listen. I wonder what answers we will hear when we simply get still and hear that steady, calm voice.

I'll get back to you on that. On the way to my next appointment, I plan to listen.

To Get Better Solutions, Ask Better Questions

The ideas and solutions we generate depend largely on the inner dialogue that we have with ourselves and more specifically, the questions we ask and answer.

Most of us have an inner conversation rolling along all day every day in those moments when we aren’t engaging with others. The quality and nature of the questions we ask determines the ideas and solutions we are able to see.

Here is an example: David, a product design engineer, has been working on a widget for three months and learns this morning that there is a major defect resulting from faulty test equipment. If the question he asks is, “What are they going to think of me in tomorrow’s design review?” he will head down a thought path quite different than if he asked a more positive question like, “What’s the fastest and best way to get accurate test results now?” or “Who might have the equipment required to re-test?”

When we learn to ask better questions—the ones pointed toward solutions and possibilities, we get better results faster. Here are a few examples of open-ended questions that lead to positive exploration:

• How can this situation be a win for everyone involved?
• What possibilities might exist that I haven’t thought of yet?
• What possibilities might exist that I haven’t thought of yet?
• If we looked at this from the perspective that the challenge was resolved successfully, and went step-by-step backwards, what would have happened right before it was resolved, and before that, etc.?

By asking these kinds of questions, we give ourselves access to fresh perspectives and often create breakthrough ideas.

To-Do Lists and Not-To-Do Lists

Each of us is many faceted, managing career, relationships and life. Our daily lists of tasks have grown so long, many of us have transferred them to the computer. At the risk of being called a heretic, I'm suggesting we do two things to take back the true feeling of accomplishment and be more effective in the things that really matter:

1. Limit projects on To-Do lists to the top five, and preferably keep it on paper. Why? Because psychologically, five is a manageable number and 67 isn't. If you are working on the top 5 priorities for the day, and you get each one complete, you can always add five more, but you'll get a bigger dose of the achievement high we all crave by focusing in on the most important items and making headway on those. If we keep it on a calendar page or index card, there is a satisfaction in crossing it off that is missing with a computer, plus it simply is too easy to keep adding to an electronic list until it becomes distorted beyond reality and we stop taking it seriously. There are so many items on that list that we simply begin to ignore them--we are overloaded.
2. Make a list of things not to do--those distractions that often take you off course and eat up precious chunks of time. E-mails, calls, drop bys, Pottery Barn catalogs. We get to decide which ones move us toward our goals and which ones slow us down.

By taking five minutes at the beginning of the day to decide what 5 things are top priority and what you will postpone, for now, your achievement and effectiveness will rapidly improve. We sometimes put ourselves under enormous pressure to stay up with all this information coming our way every day. No one can. There is simply too much. By necessity, we must become specialists who focus on those things we excel in and give our attention there. Prioritizing is a skill worth cultivating as our pace becomes crazier. We must be on target with knowing what is important to us and maintaining our focus in the face of distractions.

Keeping Up With Who You Have Become

In every facet of our lives, we are evolving to a wiser, more skilled and knowledgeable self. Yet, most of us forget to upgrade that whiny 7-year-old insecure voice that resides in our thoughts to the capable, intelligent being we have become. Here's an example: one facet of me is an artist--and that part of me has been around for most of my life. Sometimes I paint and draw more regularly than other times, but every drawing, every design makes me a better artist. Yet, when I took a dozen or so pieces of artwork out from under the bed recently to put on an artists' site to sell, that insecure 7-year-old popped right up with "you think you're a real artist? how long has it been since you've painted? What makes you think you are still an artist? Who'd want to buy prints that are six years old? Why are you spending time on this?"

I see this happen often with my coaching clients. They are justifiably promoted, yet fearful that everyone will learn they are a fraud. Have they met the requirements to get the promotion? Certainly. Do they have the skills necessary to perform the work? Absolutely. The only problem is that they have not stopped along the way to acknowledge to themselves the person they have become after each accomplishment or challenge. Therefore, they feel like a fraud, because their self image does not match who they have become.

How to remedy this dual self? Easy. Take a few minutes each week to journal about what you have learned, accomplished and how you have grown. Week by week, you will keep up with the wise and capable person you are becoming.

Getting Things Done: What I Learned from David Allen

In a recent telephone interview David Allen, author of Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress- Free Productivity, shared his insights. Here are eight tips I came away with:

1. Only do one thing at a time and give it your full commitment and attention. Multi-tasking is a myth--we can only do well and give our attention to one thing at a time. That's why laws were passed to keep our attention on driving rather than operating a cell phone and navigating a car.
2. Know that the one thing you are doing is the thing you most need and want to do now.
3. Make time to step back and see the broader view from a reflective perspective. Allow time for creativity to flow. Think creatively. If you are always in response mode and don't have creative think time, new ideas have no place of entry and you stagnate.
4. Take the best of other people's ideas mixed with your own trial and error to develop your own system for managing projects and getting things done. Tweak until it works consistently, then let the system support you so that you trust your system and use it well. It becomes automatic. This may take two weeks to two years, depending on your level of commitment and use.
5. Ask, "What's not on cruise control?What's not clear?" Then get everything you can on cruise control (automatic) so that you clear the decks for renewal, relaxation and creativity. An easy way is to notice what has your attention.
6. Create a way for rapid refocus after interruptions. For example, jot a keyword down to remind you where you left off before answering the telephone.
7. Learn to understand when things are complete. For instance, he gave up a two-year hobby of growing bonsai when it became clear that the cost (in terms of distraction, time) became greater than the benefit. Learn to let go of what is no longer beneficial.
8. Don't get hooked into The Busy Trap: feeling the need to appear busy rather than working on what really matters (like wading through email instead of thinking through a possible solution while staring out the window). Don't worry about how things look. When you are handling what really matters, keeping your agreements, and consistently producing results people don't really care how you do it, except to share your secrets of success with them.

Hopefully, something in this list will help you get more of the important things done in your work and life. And when petting your cat, really be there and enjoy that moment.